SELF-COMPASSION OR SELF-LOVE?

WHY ‘SELF-LOVE’ HAS NEVER FELT RIGHT TO ME…

With Valentine’s around the corner (February 14th) all the red heart and love-based advertising will begin popping up in inboxes and shop windows. “For the one you love’ or for your ‘self-love’. I don’t know about you but self-love always seemed like some elusive glass ceiling to happiness, and forever out of reach.

But I want to share something I think is really important with you. SELF-LOVE isn’t the same as SELF-COMPASSION. I fall in and out of love with parts of myself more times than the main characters of a soap opera on TV, and I don’t think I’m alone.

Self-love is overrated. Yes taking time to go out with friends, buy yourself that treat you love, or sitting in a quiet spot for a moment of stillness are all really good things for your soul. BUT self-compassion in the hard times is what will give you long-term happiness.

So instead of hating on your baggy arm skin (I hear this one every day), stop, and think for a moment, those arms have given you a lifetime of service and the skin is needed to move your arm above your head. Literally, no skin. no flexibility.
Or that mum’s tum, that isn’t wash-board flat like those on the cover of some glossy mag or internet advert. One, that advertisement is guaranteed to be altered and that woman will have a mum’s tum, she’s human too. Two, yes it is a part of you and yes you had incredible strength to grow, birth and raise that amazing child(ren). Three, would you criticise someone else’s stomach? No, then please don't do it to yourself.

YOU DON’T HAVE TO LOVE EVERY BIT OF YOURSELF BUT YOU DO NEED COMPASSION AND ACCEPTANCE.